Lady Nyx: Gadgets, a broken toy, a street boy,a blind woman and her stick and Me

I said goodbye to my 13th month pay money today to pay off some of my credit card debts. Now I wont be able to get the gadgets that I want for myself but I still want them so I head to a mall to check another brand that might fit my budget.

Right now, its passed 12 midnight and the mushroom soup I order at KFC is no longer hot but I have to right these thoughts before I forget them altogether.

In my mind, I keep complaining that I wont be able to have all the shiny gadgets Ive been dreaming for several months. Its hard to take the gadget that you don't really want at the first place. I found one that wont make me broke if I purchase it but in my mind, I wont satisfy myself. I decided to think first and compare. I can have them any day I want. I just have to convince myself if a cheaper one that has all the specs I want could make me happy. I get out of the mall. There's always tomorrow.

On my way, a boy dropped on his knees and broke his little toy to pieces. Its too small I don't know what kind of toy it is. Must be a robot or a box, its square when it scattered on the pathway. He cried out loud and I run to help him up but he doesn't want to stand. He's knees must hurt. Upon approaching him, I realized he's a street kid. He has that scent that's typical if you get on the sun for so long and you forgot to take a bath for several days. But he's still a lucky one, he has an elder sibling that like me, rush to pick him up. I see myself and my little siblings when we are at the same age as these children. Like me then, she scolded him yet pick him up and the toys that goes to pieces. I touched her head and never said a word when I leave them.

Unlike them, I never experience being in the streets. I never begged for anything from strangers. My toys where cute and plenty, I even destroyed them when I'm curious. I'm always clean and never (I don't know what proper words to say, please allow me to use it) stinks. And as the eldest, when I freaked out, its my mother who's always on my rescue, even until today that I'm 27.

And so I continued walking when I saw an old blind woman with sticks on her hand a plastic cup on the other. I watched her carefully and I realized that she will crossed the street. She waved her long stick and the stick hit a car. I immediately run to her and offer her help but she refuse. A blind woman crossing a street with just a stick as her guide. I still watched her from the other side of the street and after several more minutes of shaking her stick on her way, she was able to cross the first street, she has another pedestrian to cross. A pedestrian that only takes me less than a minute to cross takes several minutes for her.

And that very moment, I knew I am getting a life lesson for myself.
God always finds a way to teach me a thing or two and allowed it to happen right in my face and the reality that I must be aware of.

Like today, I am complaining of not having the shiny gadgets that I could actually live without and honestly, I still have one right now, I'm just not contented with it anymore that I want a new one.

That I am not totally happy with what I have right now when others has no choice but be contented with what they have.

That when you're so busy at work, I almost forget to go to my parents home coz Im so tired commuting, Im losing touch with them (cellphone calls and text is not a genuine type of touching people when you could actually go and see them physically).

That Im more a worker and less daughter and ate (sibling).

That I sometimes secretly wish I am prettier coz I envy the other girls who seems so perfect with their face and body when others like the old woman has grow old and fight in life without a sight. (I still felt the uneasy feeling of watching her crossed the street).

That even though I am thankful with everything I got, there are times I wished I have more (in any terms).

Its human nature. Its just today, it was slapped in my face and I felt guilty......
So close, I could feel my heart aches with the reality.

But still a two hour stroll this night is meaningful. I'll check my budget tomorrow and get what I want without getting broke. Anyway, I work so hard, I need to treat myself. Just this time, no more complaining.